Separating Beats and Lyrics

The song that got me thinking about writing this blog is being played on the radio a lot right now.

Akon, chivalrous dude that he is, is "tryna find the words to describe this girl/Without being disrespectful". The words he settles on? Over and over? "Damn, you's a sexy bitch, a sexy bitch". Yeeah. Nice work, Akon.

I co-facilitate a parents' discussion group on teen sexuality at my church, and one topic that has come up a surprising amount (to me) is song lyrics that parents find distasteful. In general, the parents feel that hip-hop is full of misogynistic, sexist lyrics. This is sometimes true. I don't listen to Superman by Eminem when it comes up on my iTunes because that song is basically rhythmic hate speech.

But when the song is about appreciating women-- kind of-- or, more accurately, appreciating womens' bodies, does that cross a line? And does a parent have any role in censoring their kids' music choices?

In general, I'd say no. Baby boomers, which is the generation that most of my friends' parents fall into, grew up with songs like Hey Joe by Jimi Hendrix ("I'm going down to shoot my old lady/You know, I caught her messin' around with another man"), Run for Your Life by The Beatles ("Catch you with another man/That's the end'a little girl"), Brown Sugar by The Rolling Stones ("Ah brown sugar how come you taste so good/ (a-ha) brown sugar, just like a black girl should"), etc., etc., etc. That generation seems to have turned out okay enough, despite the hideous sexism in those lyrics, to feel compelled to be horrified by the lyrics of current music.

My point is not that past misogyny and sexism in music makes present misogyny and sexism inmusic acceptable. Instead, concerned parents of teens should realize that song lyrics don't corrupt their kids. In all likelihood, gangsta rap didn't make them do it. Instead of addressing problematic lyrics by telling your kid to turn that noise off, ask them what they appreciate about the song. Tell them how you feel about the lyrics, but let the decision be theirs.